Top five ways I made friends in Japan - and how you can too

Natasja is a BA Japanese and History of Art student on her year abroad studying in Tokyo, Japan. Now starting her final term, she puts forward her top five strategies to make meaningful friendships in Japan 

Before setting off on my year abroad in Japan, I had often been warned about how lonely living in Tokyo can be, from Japanese people’s reluctance to befriend foreigners to intricate social hierarchies that can be tricky to navigate, even for Japanese people!

I am now about to start my third term at my study abroad university, ICU in Tokyo, and my experience could not be further from the alienation and loneliness I expected to feel. Here are the top 5 ways I made friends in Japan, including actionable tips so that you can feel confident going into your year abroad.

Make friends abroad whilst you are still at SOAS

Going to live in a country where you know no one can be daunting. This is why making friends before leaving for Japan was game-changing. The SOAS Japan Society is a great way to meet exchange students from your year abroad destination before you leave. 

Since SOAS year-abroad programs run on an exchange basis, many students from Japan spend a year at SOAS before returning home, just as you head to their university. In my second year, I became friends with a student from the university I planned to attend in Japan, which gave me the reassurance of already knowing someone before moving abroad.

Join clubs, especially language and cultural exchange programmes 

Language exchange programs are a fantastic way to improve your conversation skills and meet open-minded students interested in your language and culture. While still studying at SOAS, I joined a Japanese-English exchange program with my study abroad university. 

What began as an email exchange became video calls and eventually turned into lunches on campus in Japan and even a day trip. Some of my friends in Japan also made connections through pen-pal schemes advertised in a magazine and language apps like HelloTalk.

Making friends abroad is in many ways just the same as making friends at SOAS. Joining clubs is the ultimate tried and tested way to meet new people who share your interests. At my Japanese university, I was able to make friends by joining the track and field club and the Japanese-English language exchange club. I particularly recommend clubs that focus on learning English because they will give you access to a pool of open-minded people who want to make foreign friends. 

Living with a roommate 

At first, I can’t deny that I was unsure about sharing a room with a stranger. However, this turned out to be one of the best decisions I made. My roommate was a great first point of contact. From the start, she has been patient with my Japanese and very kind in helping me fill out the notoriously tedious Japanese paperwork. 

The presence of another person where you live, even if you are not close, can be very comforting in a sprawling city like Tokyo. If room-sharing is not for you, simply living in university halls offers an instant sense of community, making the transition abroad feel less isolating.

Embrace your differences

Initially, I was troubled by the idea that "foreigners will never integrate into Japanese society," which made me question if making friends in such a homogeneous country was possible. Adjusting to Japanese etiquette and customs can be difficult, so it is no wonder that many long-term foreign residents report still feeling like outsiders. 

However, embracing my identity as a foreigner has often helped me make friends, as my cultural differences sparked conversations with people interested in international exchange. It has been these conversations that blossomed into friendships that transcend cultural boundaries.

Before my year abroad in Japan, I was worried I would feel isolated and be stunted by cultural barriers. However, my experience has been the opposite. By making friends who live in Japan before I arrived, joining clubs, participating in language exchanges, and embracing shared living, I have built meaningful friendships. 

Through these experiences, I have found that cultural differences can enable friendships. Bonds built on mutual respect, curiosity and openness have been the most rewarding part of my year abroad so far and have opened my eyes to new perspectives and lifestyles.